Best 'NCIS' Quotes from 'Spinning Wheel'

The NCIS winter finale, "Spinning Wheel," is all about Ducky. Once the team realizes their victim was killed saving Ducky's life, they look into the man who lured Ducky in for a meeting, seeking information about his younger half-brother who died. But what does this man want with his brother? And is Nicholas Mallard really dead? For more on what happened, read the recap.

"Every day is Opposite Day when it comes to a woman. Especially a woman scorned."

Tony: "Trying to figure out whether Jake's still in the picture or not. Still wearing her wedding ring."
McGee: "Seems in good spirits. They're still married."
Tony: "She dumped Jake."
McGee: "This Opposite Day or Something?"
Tony: "No, every day is Opposite Day when it comes to a woman. Especially a woman scorned."
McGee: "And Jake did some serious scorning."
Tony: "He's a dead man. Bishop's the last person you'd expect to slit someone's throat in their sleep."
McGee: "Which would make her the first."   

"I bet you he comes in here early and he waits, bides his time, like a howler monkey in heat, waiting for exactly the right moment."

Bishop: "You know I can hear every word you're saying. … It's the skylight. The angle causes an acoustic reflection from the stairs to my desk."
Tony: "Really? … Wow, I've been here 15 years, I -- That's how he does it. … Gibbs. That's how he knows everything we're saying. There must be a sweet spot in this room. A little acoustic [pops] where he can hear every single thing we say. I bet you he comes in here early and he waits, bides his time, like a howler monkey in heat, waiting for exactly the right moment to … "
Gibbs: "Step in and finish your sentence?"   

"It's a recurring nightmare, yes."

Tony: "You're perfectly aware that Gibbs is capable of eating you, right?"
Palmer: "It's a recurring nightmare, yes."   

"He got around?"

Young Ducky: "Now, that is a replica of a 4468 Mallard train. Holder of the world speed record for steam locomotives and named after our great-grandfather, Bernard Mallard."
Nicholas: "Nice try. You already said they named the duck after him."
Young Ducky: "He got around?"   

"Are you guys talking English?"

McGee: "Van is actually registered with PimpYourWheels."
Gibbs: "PimpYourWheels?"
McGee: "Yup. It's um, well, it's like an Uber meets, uh, Spinlister."
Tony: "I would have said Lyft meets Zagster, but …"
Gibbs: "Are you guys talking English?"   

"I've decided to swing."

Ducky: "I gather you two haven't really spoken since you came back. Though I imagine that you have quite a lot to say."
Bishop: "My big brother used to tell me 'when life throws you a curveball, you can either duck, get hit or swing.' I've decided to swing."

- Discussing what Bishop is going to do about Jake   

"Maybe you should switch religions."

Young Ducky: "What's wrong with him?"
Nurse: "Nobody knows. Personally, I think it's too much of the Christmas port. Or maybe just a bit too much Christmas. I'm not a fan myself."
Nicholas: "Maybe you should switch religions."   

"Oh, is that all? Good riddance to the scrubber."

Joseph: "Lorraine, she come by my work. She served me with divorce papers. She said she's leaving the country."
Young Ducky: "Oh, is that all? Good riddance to the scrubber. She hates us both."
Joseph: "And she's taking Nicholas with her. She's taking our boy."   

"Did you rent him the rope too?"

- Tony to Sam, who rented his house (and van) to the latest victim, who is found hanging inside 

"That's a little dramatic. We're only half-brothers, remember?"

Young Ducky: "You're my brother. Nothing's going to keep us apart."
Nicholas: "But what if she takes me and you can't find us?"
Young Ducky: "Not likely. I would look under every rock, turn every town and city upside down. Ransack every Third World flea pit until I found you again."
Nicholas: "That's a little dramatic. We're only half-brothers, remember?"   

"Nicholas is my life. This, quite simply, is not a decision that requires one second of thought."

Young Angus: "I like Joseph, but you've always been much more of a father to that boy than he ever has. Even if we win this, he'll never be able to raise Nicholas himself."
Young Ducky: "I know, which is why I'm gonna do it."
Young Angus: "And be a doctor in the Royal Army Medical Corps?"
Young Ducky: "I'm resigning my commission."
Young Angus: "Resigning? Are you off your trolley? You've wanted this your entire life."
Young Ducky: "Nicholas is my life. This, quite simply, is not a decision that requires one second of thought."   

"Until I find my brother again."

Young Angus: "You will find him. I know you will."
Young Ducky: "I will scour the entire planet. Look under every rock, turn every town and city upside down. Ransack every Third World flea pit until I find my brother again."   

"A broken man has no place in police society."

"Eventually, I found a relative who informed me that Nicholas and his mother were both killed in a car crash in Prague. The very next day, I volunteered for an assignment to an Afghan refugee camp. A broken man has no place in police society."

- Ducky to Palmer   

"You found me, Donnie. You found me."

Ducky: "Hello, Nicholas."
Nicholas: "You got my letter. You found me, Donnie. You found me."
Ducky: "I did that. I told you I would."
Nicholas: "And you broke one of the wheels on my Mallard."
Ducky: "I did. You cheeky little monkey."